Professional Makeup Project
Emma Freeman
Psychological Disorders Awareness
Consent from Kira:
For some primary research I wanted to get some information about the disorder from someone living with it. As it is such a sensitive issue I have emailed some councellers within Bournemouth about their approach to councelling and how I would approach the issue to someone living with the disorder. After watching some documenturies on the subject and reading on websites and charities I came up wth a few question I could use.
I came across this awarness video on facebook and found it to be very effective. In this 'silent' video Kira describes her personality disorder and the problems she faces. She experiences similar symptoms to a bipolar or schizophrenic, and describes her disorder as 'silent' which is reflected in her voice cards. Kira's initial image looks as though she is very creative indicidual, she has coloured tattoos covering her arms and chest and bright red hair. This makes me wonder if her personality disorder aided this creativity. Below I have messaged Kira asking if she would like to participate in my project by answering some of my questions.
My questions:
What is life like living with a psychological disorder?
1. How long have you been suffering with symptoms of a psychological disorder, and when was it (if at all) that you realised you were finding your behaviors different from others?
2. How did it feel when you were first diagnosed (if diagnosed)? What thoughts initially came to mind?
3. Do you ever feel as though you live in a different world to other people?
4. Do you ever experience hallucinations/delusions? If so, what types of hallucinations do you experience and what of?
5. Do you ever feel like you have more than one personality? If so, how do you feel about each of your various personalities?
6. How do you find the general public react to you as an individual? Are your disorders ever obvious to new people?
7. Do you feel as though people without a psychological disorder understand your life?
8. Are you on medication/have you ever taken medication and what are your thoughts and experiences with them?
Kira's Answer's:
1. Probably at a very young age, around 10-11 years old.
2. I happy to be diagnosed, as it felt like I finally got answers as to why I was so different to others.
3. Yes most definitely, I live in my own little world which seems very different to others.
4. Yes! I've seen and heard screaming, police sirens, death, hurt, always dark, black red.. Awful ~ I haven't hallucinated for a while now (which is a good thing I feel)
5. Yes! I feel different it just happens, I have no control over the person I feel I am at times.. This is still a major issue in my life.
6. Most people hate me in real life.. New people always notice that I'm different or difficult..
7. Not at all...
8. Yes, the doctors tired all sorts of different medication before they found the right one. I'm currently on mood stabilisers, I've been on these for quite a while, two years, and they help a lot, they keep me as stable as I can be
Kira’s answers have been really interesting to read. She feels she lives in her own world, very different from others. She also describes her hallucinations and delusions she has experienced. This helped me to think more about how I could create an art piece to represent these experiences. She explains her feelings of having no control over the other personality within herself, which she still struggles with now. She is also taking medication, which helps to keep her moods stable.
What is life like living with a psychological disorder?
As long as I keep my disorder under control, then I lead a normal life. Mostly it is just a really frustrating inconvenience because I don’t feel like I am me when I can’t control it.
How long have you been suffering with symptoms of a psychological disorder, and when was it (if at all) that you realised you were finding your behavior’s different from others?
Since my late teens. So about 4/5 years now.
How did it feel when you were first diagnosed (if diagnosed)? What thoughts initially came to mind?
I was pretty relieved because I had suspected it for a while and it was nice to have a proper name and more of an understanding of it.
Do you ever feel as though you live in a different world to other people?
Only when I have manic episodes, but not all the time.
Do you ever experience hallucinations? If so, what types of hallucinations do you experience and what of?
Yes, I used to experience them a lot more before I was diagnosed, to me they feel more of just vivid imagination rather than hallucinations, but they are usually quite violent. For example I usually envisage the worst possible violent situation. For example if I am walking down the street and someone is walking towards me with his or her dog, I hallucinate it breaking free and ripping my face off. or sometimes it is naked bloody bodies falling from the sky.. I get that one quite a bit.
Do you ever feel like you have more than one personality? If so how do you feel about each of your various personalities?
Yes there is the real me and then there is the “sick” me. Who isn’t really me at all. Sometimes I refer to it as my left-brain. Only because that’s where I feel a lot of the negativity comes from.
How do you find the general public react to you as an individual?
I have no problem with the general public; most people don’t even know I have bipolar unless I tell them.
Are your disorders ever obvious to new people?
No, not at all really.
Do you feel as though people without a psychological disorder understand your life?
No. I have had real trouble with this in the past with my father, because he just can’t understand why I have issues with some things.
Are you on medication/have you ever taken medication and what are your thoughts and experiences with them?
I used to take medication, but I don’t like pharmaceuticals really so stopped them. Also I felt Lithium was doing more damage to my liver than my disorder was doing to me.
Anonymous:
What is life like living with a psychological disorder?
1. How long have you been suffering with symptoms of a psychological disorder, and when was it (if at all) that you realised you were finding your behaviors different from others?
on and off since aged 20 up until 28. I then was generally homeostatic for 15 years. This was followed by 2 years of depression and vulnerability.
2. How did it feel when you were first diagnosed (if diagnosed)? What thoughts initially came to mind?
isolated. More frustrating aspects to life.
3. Do you ever feel as though you live in a different world to other people?
I have lived in a mental experience of life. I've been working with mental disorder. Either suffering with a mental disorder or working with people with mental illness
4. Do you ever experience hallucinations/delusions? If so, what types of hallucinations do you experience and what of?
yes.but various types depending on mood.
5. Do you ever feel like you have more than one personality? If so, how do you feel about each of your various personalities?
I do think I have two personalities Living in worlds Diametrically opposed it begets personality change, some of which may be permanent.
6. How do you find the general public react to you as an individual? Are your disorders ever obvious to new people?
I am known to be aggressive, so when I'm low I don't suffer fools gladly. People tend to disappear.
7. Do you feel as though people without a psychological disorder understand your life?
Most normal people could understand the process and outcomes in terms of personality development and the propensity for the deferment of mental disorder mid life(depression).
8. Are you on medication/have you ever taken medication and what are your thoughts and experiences with them?
yes .im.currently on several. The side effects impair memory makes one clumsy. The use of meds for these symptoms has its place